Thursday, June 28, 2007

A new day

Today was spent getting up early and not going to work but taking my daughter Simone to hospital to have surgery. The surgery didnt start untill 11am and she didnt finish until 12.30 so I had a lot of time to read and think. I read this great article about a women in her 40's who had spent most of her life in relationships or married but not finding her souldmate, it was till she turned 40 she realised that she didnt want to settle for a maybe relationship to think it would make her happy she wanted to find her soulmate and sure enough in her 40's she met and married her soulmate. I have said for a while now that I have met guys that I could have had relationships with, that they were nice enough guys but there was never that true spark and that I would prefer to walk alone if i couldnt be with my soulmate. I beleive I have found my soulmate but circumstances have intervened, I do truly think that it will be worked out and we will meet. Time and patience and love is what I have and he knows that. XXX

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Day by Day

Another night, of fitfull sleep, another day of looking like crap from lack of sleep and tears for my father amongst the tears I feel for Brad. I still understand that its 5 years since my dads death and i have never let myself truly greive. I dont know if I will ever be able to let go and greive. He was the only one who beleived in what i had acheived with my life, unlike the rest of my family who think i was the poor struggling sibling. My mum still rings me and asks if i need money, money is a luxury and not what i need, true love and caring and respect is what I have always wanted. I had this breifly with my first husband but deep down I new we where to different and it would never last.

My children I am the proudest of. My youngest is having surgery tommorow, not for anything major but to a 9yo surgery is a scary thing. I am taking the day off to be with her.

How I managed to do any work yesterday I dont know, I went to work with no makeup on, not much of a voice and puffy red eyes. Of course the first thing the other girl Lana asked me was, what is wrong you look really tired and troubled. True romantic that she is, she wont't beleive or let me beleive that all is lost.

Ok time to spend another day at work.
Another Day
Another Day

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Truly wonderful

A truly wonderful person crossed my path 2 weeks ago, although I had 2 weeks of really connecting mentally with this person, seems the timing was not to be and things beyong our control have intervened. I do hope that we can still be close freinds. Out of all my freinds there is no one that I have told a lot of my inner feelings to like I had felt comfortable telling this guy. My heart now will stay closed to anything other than good freinds, that soul connection that I felt like I had never experienced before doenst happen everyday so I say, no more bus stops I sh all forever walk alone in the path of love. The Greenday song, Boulevarde of broken dreams is what im feeling right now. well i will move on and find that special person.

To my beautiful father, if only you knew that I have made a life for myself and the girls out of what you saw as a marriage in ruins, you wanted to do anything you could for us and y ou where so cruely taken away before you got a chance. I hope I have made you proud with how the girls have turned out so far, you will always be in my heart and soul.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

For her Beloved poppy (My Dad)


I was walking up the stairs to heaven
And I accidently let go
I was sad because I was happy to see you again
Now my dream has gone
I'll never have it again

I miss you
And I know you miss me
But your always in my heart

If i could have just one more day
I would be so happy
I couldnt wait
I miss you
And your the one I love

I miss you
And I know you miss me
But your always in my heart

I'll never have someone better to love
There's no one else there
I really know that your still in my heart
But i love you so much
When I hear your name I cry

I miss you
And I know you miss me
But your always in my heart
your always in my heart.

Written by Simone (9yo)


Last night there was some clever disco moves by people on the dace floor in my back yard, actually its a slab of concrete left from an old garage that was knocked down. The was the macarena, the nutbush, and lots more. Boy do my legs ache this morning from to much dancing. Thankfully my head doesnt ache, due to Trentham estate 2/3rds sav blanc which is low alchohol.

My girlfreind had a fantastic time celebrating her 40th birthday with freinds. I am glad I could help out, considering my 40th came and went 3 weeks after i seperated from my husband and just before my dad had his stroke and passed away.

Whilst partying last night I was Sending and receiving txt from a trully wonderful person who is taking me horseriding next Saturday, I'm hoping I dont fall of the horse and injur myself but I am sure I will be fine. Funny how I was about to delete my online profile and give up completely on dating and just stay single and in to my life walks, or streams (via internet) a guy so totally different to anyone I have encountered before. I have not had a smile on my face as much as I have had the last week.

Its 7.15 am and I am expecting my kids and Ziggy (pup) back soon as ziggy is starting puppy school at 9am this morning. once puppy is finished this morning I will be coming home and going back to bed, I am sticll sick with a cold and very tired from partying last night.

Thursday, June 21, 2007


Omg, Omg, Omg in 8 days I am going horseriding for the first time in my life followed by a picnic, wow I grew up on a farm and we didnt have horses so have never been on one. This will be so great. What a very nice idea for a first date, never in my life have I been asked on such a nice date. I have 8 days to get rid of this cold and feel much better.

In the meantime I'm hosting a birthday party for a freind who is turning 4o, middle of winter in Melbourne and we will be under a marquee in my backyard dancing and drinking and having fun. Anyone who knows melbourne in winter will think I am mad.

My job is going great, keeping me very busy so busy i hardly have time for a 2nd cup of coffee during the day.

That is enough to report for now, seems this year is going to be a fantastic year like I hoped for.

Monday, June 18, 2007

Triplet falls

Saturday, June 16, 2007

what a week.

had a very busy week, started off with public hloiday monday and the puppy getting hurt accidently by my 9yo daughter but he is now fine. busy week at work.

Spent this afternoon in the dandenongs testing out my macro lens, have realised that im not fantasstic with the manual focus and it was very foggy and very cold. a couple of pictures turned out ok though.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

New Toy

I came home yesterday with the much awaited macro lens, Sigma 105mm F2.8. So far im doing lots of practicing on anything and everything i can find. I might even see what my puppy looks like in macro. I can't wait still spring and all the flowers are out and the macro will get real good workout.

This new toy and the puppy plus my job and kids are keeping me so busy I hardly have time to do nothing. Certainly no time to worry about being single.

I will post some macro pics once i have processed them.