Day by Day

Another night, of fitfull sleep, another day of looking like crap from lack of sleep and tears for my father amongst the tears I feel for Brad. I still understand that its 5 years since my dads death and i have never let myself truly greive. I dont know if I will ever be able to let go and greive. He was the only one who beleived in what i had acheived with my life, unlike the rest of my family who think i was the poor struggling sibling. My mum still rings me and asks if i need money, money is a luxury and not what i need, true love and caring and respect is what I have always wanted. I had this breifly with my first husband but deep down I new we where to different and it would never last.

My children I am the proudest of. My youngest is having surgery tommorow, not for anything major but to a 9yo surgery is a scary thing. I am taking the day off to be with her.

How I managed to do any work yesterday I dont know, I went to work with no makeup on, not much of a voice and puffy red eyes. Of course the first thing the other girl Lana asked me was, what is wrong you look really tired and troubled. True romantic that she is, she wont't beleive or let me beleive that all is lost.

Ok time to spend another day at work.