Geelong Pictures

Love, what is it.

what is love, I have no idea. I know the love I have for my children and they have for me but it is not the same as being in love and being loved. It has been such a long time, at leat 8 years so I truly have forgotten what it feels like. Will i ever feel loved again, that I don't know. Will I ever allow myself to fall in love again, that I also don't know. yes i know a couple of months ago i though i had found my soul mate and felt a love towards then but I never actually got to meet them so maybe that wasnt love at all.

Yes I am an emotional person, yes I have feelings, feelings I know my best freind has no idea bout. She lives in her ideal world and I dont think she would have any idea of my deep down feelings she mostly sees the happy me, and if i am ever with her and not that happy she doesnt seem to notice.

well to coincide with my feeling down and unloved the weekend is wet and horrible, can't even get outdoors with my camera which always cheers me up. Can't even take my dog out as its to wet. Have also had to many bills this week so I can't even go and do some retail therapy.

Where is my online freind from Queensland who always could cheer me up. I havent not heard from him in about 5 months, maybe his work has got so busy he doesnt have time. it is 7.15 am on a saturday, maybe i will jsut go back to bed.

Arthurs Sear & Coolart homestead

Coolart Homestead

The Stables

Saturday was spent not getting up till 9am, after a late friday night out with my girlfriends. I went and did some shopping and then at 11am headed down to Arthurs seat, day was very overcast and dark clouds with the odd hint of sushine. I got to Arthurs seat and had a look around, considered going to kings falls but as rain was looning I didnt want to get myself or my camera gear wet so will go back there another time. Headed back to Arthurs hotel at 1pm and settled in for a long lunch and to read a book on eating well. Decided that eating well doesnt mean depriving myself and forgiving quality over completely low fat. Enjoyed a lunch of Linguine Calabrese and a soft drink, then had winter crumble with a little cram for desert and a coffee.

Then at 2.30 i headed through Red Hill to Coolart homestead and wetlands at Somers. only had 2 hours to look around so didnt get to walk the wetlands but will go back another time. Headed home at 5pm to put my feet up for the evening and relax with Ziggy (pup).

Pain

My heel spur is giving me greif again, senidng pain up my leg into my knee. I have stopped the gym workouts but that hasnt made a difference but that is not hurting all the time. The other problem is carpoal tunnel, i have it in my left hand and i had this operated on november 2005 and it has been fine since, surgeon told me at the time that chances are i would also get it in my right hand but that he couldnt do anything until it had actually happened and gotten as bad as the left hand had at time of surgery ( I could hardly use my left hand). Carpal tunnel is constant tingling and numbness in the hand and wrist, especial numb when your asleep and first wake up. Surgery means unable to use the hand properly for at least 4 - 6 weeks, as i am right handed this would mean i am unable to write. I use the computer and do a bit of writing in my job and cant afford to be out of action for 6 weeks, it has been occuring only occasionally but the last couple of days i have noticed it more constant. What to do I dont know there are no tempory quick fixes. I will have to battle on till i have it gets completely unusable and i hope that is after i have been at my jopb for 12 months and i can take some time off. I really like this job so dont want to do anything to jeopardise it.

Not grining this week

Trivia final last night and we were 3 points from the winners and came 3rd. so we dont get the trophy but its a fun night and with so many teams its a close competition. Think i need to find a new freind with lots of knowledge to join us.

Work is going great although the last day of each month is frantic with the sales guys trying to get as many sales as possible and get as much of the orders out the door for invoicing, which means i come absolutely exhausted, then going out to trivia afterwards. I woke this morning and truly I could have gone back to sleep for the day.

Other things in my life are quiet, kids are not quiet but hey they are kids.

well enough for now, kids will be home soon and i have to get ready for work.